Mdm Rani, A Positive Spirit
“You should be resting already, why are you still working so hard?” As foster parents, Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar often heard this comment. Despite such perceptions, they remain undeterred and continue to passionately serve and advocate for fostering at Boys’ Town.
Their journey into fostering started when Mdm Rani first heard about it from her neighbour. Inspired, the couple decided to take on the challenge. They enjoy trying new things and keeping themselves busy. Over the past four years, Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar have fostered nine children.
Mdm Rani finds fulfilment in improving children’s lives. With a positive spirit, she encourages her friends, family and networks to learn more about fostering, and at the same time, debunks the common misconceptions of the cause.
“I do not want to be labelled as just a housewife but rather, be recognised as a foster parent”, Mdm Rani explained. She added: “Like I have another family and that really interests me.”
1. There’s No Place Like Home
Throughout their fostering experience, Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar have the advantage of strong family support. Welcoming the foster child to their home has become a joyful process where family members come together to prepare for the arrival of the child.
During the preparatory process, Mdm Rani’s family members would decorate the rooms and create a “Welcome Banner”, warmly welcoming the foster child. Depending on the age of the foster child, some of the preparations would include buying clothes for the child, setting up the baby cot, and decorating it with brightly coloured balloons and soft toys.
Fostering has brought their family closer as they bond over preparations for the child, creating stronger ties with one another. With such effort put in by the family, the foster children in their care feel more welcomed and included in the family household, which in turn, helped them settle in comfortably.
2. The Shared Kampong Spirit
Apart from their family members, the couple’s supportive neighbours also excitedly look forward to welcoming the foster children to their small community. They often chip in to prepare for the arrival of the child. On one occasion, they went for a weekend shopping spree together to buy essential items for the child.
“When it comes to shopping, I always do it with my husband or my daughter. But when it comes to fostering, the whole lot of us would go!” Mdm Rani describes her experience as an exciting journey.
At some point, fostering can get a little messy. While taking care of the foster children, the foster family’s house can sometimes get noisy and disruptive to their neighbours. However, their caring and empathetic neighbours do not mind this at all.
Mdm Rani recalled an instance when her neighbours stepped in and comforted her foster children when they threw tantrums. With the support from their neighbours in managing the child, it has helped Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar feel less alone in their fostering responsibilities.
3. Connecting with Like-Minded Individuals
Being a foster parent with Boys’ Town Fostering Services has given the couple the opportunity to meet and form meaningful friendships with other foster parents. This occurs through the training courses conducted by Social Service Institute which include the foster parent foundation and intermediate courses. She had the chance to network with foster parents from other fostering agencies as well.
From these programmes, Mdm Rani formed a tight-knitted circle of friends that would meet up once every two months. During these catch-up sessions, they share insights on their respective fostering journeys and the challenges they face. As their foster children are of different ages, ranging from new-borns to 18-year-old teenagers, the group of foster parents are able to share various tips and advice with each other, based on their experiences.
4. Constant Support from Boys’ Town Fostering Services
Aiming to provide a stable fostering environment, Boys’ Town Fostering Services’ team of social workers also work closely with the foster families and children. The social workers from Boys’ Town are only a phone call away whenever foster parents need help. They are equipped with the expertise to manage foster children, some of whom are from traumatic backgrounds. Having this line of support from Boys’ Town Fostering Services gives foster parents, such as Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar, greater reassurance, knowing that they are not alone in the journey, despite the challenges experienced.
One memorable event Mdm Rani remembers fondly is the annual Boys’ Town Family Fiesta, which every foster parent looks forward to. Families and clients from across Boys’ Town’s services such as YouthReach and Residential Services are invited. Here, Mdm Rani and Mr Ivan Kumar had the honour to meet President Halimah Yaacob in person!
However, during the Covid-19 period in 2020, such gatherings were shifted online. This did not hamper Boys’ Town Fostering Services’ support towards foster parents. During this period, Mdm Rani received cookies and cakes from the organisation as a sweet gesture of appreciation! She felt that her efforts in fostering were recognised and mattered greatly. With such support in place, foster parents feel more uplifted and motivated to continue serving for good.
Besides support from social workers, foster parents are also supported with childcare and healthcare subsidies. Fostering allowance has recently increased from S$936 to S$1,100 for most foster children, and from S$1,114 to S$1,500 for foster children with higher care needs.
Mdm Rani’s Golden Piece of Advice
“Throughout the journey of fostering, it is important to have patience and love the child no matter what needs they have. When faced with challenges, work out solutions and speak to the relevant professionals such as a psychologist and social worker.”
Summing up the meaningful value that fostering gives, Mdm Rani adds: “Learn to accept challenges more positively, do not give up! Failure is only another step to success, and it is not the end of the world.”
Want to be part of making change?
Boys’ Town welcomes and calls upon individuals who are passionate about giving. If you wish to learn more about becoming a foster parent or support a child-in-need by becoming a volunteer, do reach out to Boys’ Town Fostering Services! In supporting the vulnerable youth and children, give them a sense of hope and light by contributing towards this meaningful cause.
